I’m not going to lie, I’ve been in quite a bad place lately; my anxiety is through the roof and my mood has plummeted to depths I’ve never seen before. I think the impact of Coronavirus has really hit me mentally, not so much the virus itself but the consequences of lockdown. At times, my anxiety has become so bad that I’ve contemplated leaving my husband and kids. Not because I don’t love them because I really do, more than anything in the world, but the guilt of what I’ve put them through and the desire to set them free has been incredibly strong. When I’m in the middle of a meltdown (as I put it) I feel like they’re all better off without me, like they’d be happier without me at home. When I spiral into a meltdown it can last for several days and nothing in my life makes sense, I suffer from major major brain fog and can barely even function normally let alone think anywhere near rationally.
Sometimes I can just wake up feeling a little down and when this happens I have my very own little wellbeing toolbox process. Here’s my checklist for transforming my mood;
This is a very new thing for me and something that isn’t very consistent at the moment. With lockdown in full force, 2 kids at home, hubby and a dog it can be difficult to get any time to myself. Other people swear by it though and I do find it helps.
Again something new and a little inconsistent at the moment, but it does help to read through my gratitude journal when I’m feeling down. It’s a good reminder of the positives in my life. It’s definitely worth doing. I’m currently using a simple (aka plain and boring!) exercise book but I’m thinking of buying something a little more fancy, like this one from Amazon (As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases)
Before lockdown I never really read more than the weekly telly magazine but l have now developed a love of reading. I’m now on my third book of lockdown, Quiet by Fearne Cotton. It’s so good and makes so much sense to me that I’ve just ordered 2 more of her books, Happy and Calm.
My daily dog walk is always a massive pick me up, unless of course the heavens have opened. Luckily the weather has been pretty good lately and we’ve been able to explore the many woodland areas nearby. I love watching the squirrels scattering around and listening to the birds chirping. It’s so relaxing. I even have a favourite tree, much to my kids amusement!
This one was a very strange one for me as I have barely worn make up since being a teenager. I just wasn’t interested and didn’t feel the need to plaster my face in make up – not that there’s anything wrong with that! Then a work colleague decided to surprise me with a make up set. She told me that having make up on made her feel complete, which in term made her feel more confident. I thought she was mad at first but tried it out anyway and she was so right. Everyone at work noticed how much more confident I was on the days I wore make up to work. So now, when I feel a little bit rubbish, I put my face on and it changes my mindset.
Now don’t get me wrong, my kids can bring massive stresses to my life, especially with the current pandemic being in full swing but they have an awesome ability to put a smile on my face or make me laugh. A funny face or saying something stupid usually works but a hug is guaranteed to put a smile on my face every single time. Without my kids I probably would have given up a long time ago!
A good support network
I am so incredibly lucky to have the most amazing people in my life, people who I can really talk to when I feel utterly rubbish and they don’t judge me. They know exactly what to say to me and some of them have never even met me. Somehow they just totally get me.
What transforms your low mood?